There is a romantic vibe when it comes to being a writer. The main culprit for this fantasy in my life is my adoration for the TV series, "Castle." The show revolves around a jaded writer looking for new inspiration and finding it in a police officer who tries to arrest him. It's all fun and laughter, sexual tension and awkward moments - that is until season four anyway. After that, it's just painful to watch, save for a couple of decent eps.
Writing and building stories is fun. You can torture, pleasure, and create insane scenarios from the comfort of your own brain. Even writing on real life instances allows for some artistic flair in recreating environments for people who may never have seen them in real life. Practising your craft is definitely helpful and speeds up the process once you note a passive statement or an event that is just plain boring to read. So, flamboyance is added with sensory notions, creating a realistic picture for all to experience.
The problems I've found the most frustrating is the inability to leave your work at work. For me, I practically live it from the time I wake up until I go to sleep. Sometimes I even dream about it. For me it can be a good thing because it's like trying to work out the answer to a puzzle I haven't figured out yet. Also, my dreams are so wacky that if I did take drugs for fun, my hallucinations would be boring in comparison.
However, the fun part is finished - mostly.
I've catalogued all the sequences, I've added the descriptive dialogue, I've relived the trauma. Now, it has to look good.
Proofreading is an absolute pain. Although I am proud of writing a 100000 words, it also means I now have to re-read it all. I ain't got time for that sort of crap - I mean, I do because I have nothing else going on in my life but that's not the point. What I'm saying is, even fun stuff has boring bits.
I am also very lucky to have a few "volunteers" (more like harrassed individuals) read advancements of my book to ensure it makes sense and also to claim bragging rights when we talk about my skills. I am stuck between an ultimate passion for my craft and balancing general topics of conversation to things I now find dull in comparison. Talking about what I had for dinner (loin pork steak, sweet potato mash and vegies) is nowhere near as exciting as imagining the torture of my favourite character while I drag out a complicated love triangle. (This is clearly another story in the works, not Jase and mine, well... not after chapter one.)
I have been proofreading and finessing for two days straight now. The problem is that I thought I was completely done with the chapters I've been going over. I had ticked it off. I didn't need to think about it anymore. I could move on knowing I had completed my task successfully. Unfortunately, I am a type A personality and it will never be done. I have to accept that it is good enough and remind myself that less is more. I can get every opinion from every person I know, and I may never be satisfied. It's like having your favourite meal but the ingredients weren't to a standard you are used to so everything is bland. I've bbeen chewing these two chapters so long now, they're starting to really taste like I'm eating paper.
It's not all bad though.
I feel the end is close. I know the last stretch is before me and I can finally leave this chapter of my life behind. I just have to remind myself to be patient (not likely) and to enjoy the journey... at least that's what my angel cards keep telling me to focus on. It's just a difficult task when the last part is also the most technical and boring. So even writing a story has parts that aren't fun. I've always known every career has parts which are frustrating to deal with. In radiography, it was the paperwork. Looking after kids it was the administration stuff... so paperwork. At pizza hut, it was making the pizzas, the paperwork was the fun bit. In writing... it's paperwork - all the bloody time so what am I complaining about?
The trick is to focus on the simpler goal of one chapter at a time. Needing to get it out and distributed is driving me but I can only move so fast. So maybe, I should just be grateful I get to hold onto Jase for just that little bit longer.
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