I am an indulger of great cheeses, fun movies, eccentric television storylines and some marvelous music misgivings.
My life is lived to a soundtrack and I could burst into song at a seconds notice especially if it is part of the Disney variety.
I live in rural Victoria, Australia and have been learning to live with a new purpose. I have two young ladies to raise and also a cavalcade of books I have yet to start reading.
I originally grew up in Newcastle and after my second choice of being a qualified radiographer fell through after five years of debt accumulation, my CFS diagnosis has forced me to delve down other avenues of income.
So, I thought I might give writing a shot.
I have done a semester of Creative Writing as part of my degree but have also delved into a few courses through Open Universities Australia, successfully navigating through three courses conducted by Curtin University in Western Australia.
I have had commended short stories published through writing competitions. My initial shock turned into a pursuit of knowledge to grow my craft.
I have three books in the works, two written and illustrated children's books; both themed around inclusion of everyone.
My adult book I am writing is my memoir. Jase, my late husband, started the road to dialysis only six months into our relationship. It builds to a climax as I welcome into the darker moments of our lives, showing we are human and sometimes, react accordingly.
I look forward to the response as it is a tale for the ages and one you might believe was made up. We would too, if I, and all my other witnesses, hadn't lived through it!
I also like the beach...
I have father issues. Anyone who has spent any time with me can attest to this fact. It was also one of the driving forces between Jase and me. Growing up in households, the eldest stepchild, our upbringings held significant similarities.
There is a romantic vibe when it comes to being a writer. The main culprit for this fantasy in my life is my adoration for the TV series, "Castle." The show revolves around a jaded writer looking for new inspiration and finding it in a police officer who tries to arrest him. It's all fun and laughter, sexual tension and awkward moments - that is until season four anyway. After that, it's just painful to watch, save for a couple of decent eps.
So, to break up the feels of writing Jase's story, today, I designed the cover for his book. Enjoy this quick vid at the process.
My body seems to think sleep is optional. I get it. Life has been complicated of late, it can get in the way of the joy. Reliving past events has been literal. I'm realising I don't mentally remember too many details about the darker days of Jase's story but muscle memory - that's a whole other realm.
“There is freedom within, there is freedom without
How can you not marvel at the beauty of space and feel nothing but awe and inspiration. This was the most recent picture taken by Juno of the surface of Jupiter. You can feel the magnificance through the lens, the almost palpable power of our Solar System's giant.
I love this painting, as I'm sure an incredible amount of people around the world do. You only have to see the replicas and the variations of people's own artwork to appreciate it's magnificance.
“It's funny how life turns out
I will be keeping a word count for the book which I have been mentally writing for fifteen years. Nearing the minimum word count of 80000 words has been a journey in itself. I will be cataloguing thoughts I have incorporated in my artistic journey.
There's a moment while reflecting, you realise your grief is now part of you. You don't feel it; you ARE it! A constant ache resides in your chest, a heaviness. No matter how deep you breathe, the sting lingers like a shadow in the setting sun.
I see patterns where most people don't, especially when it comes to numbers and coincidences.
I was always told, my emotions are too much. "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about," "Stop being such a baby," "Don't come back here until you've pulled yourself together," and my absolute favourite - "You're just doing this for attention."
Being an adult is hard but growing up is optional. How that philosophy rules your world, defines you as a person. If you are too adult, you are serious and cynical. If too child-like, immature and unrealistic. Sometimes, you just have to be baby bear's porridge - just right.
I've been finding the last few days and weeks more challenging than usual. I know part of it stems from working through the undealt trauma of Jase's story but life has presented it's own variation of obstacles.
There's nothing like spending money to gain perspective.
Today my older brother, Gary, would have turned fifty-six. Gazza's passing at thirty-nine was the first time I witnessed a young person in our family leave this plane of existence. Our youngest sibling officially ages him out this year.
One of the common terms used for Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS) is a flare. I have suffered these episodes of illness on and off since I was about seventeen. At the times previous to the last few years however, I never knew what the diagnosis was. It just went as an unexplained problem, most of my blood tests and monitors reading normal levels.
Most people who know me are aware of my Catholic upbringing. I tend to keep to myself however, the strength I still find in it when I am lost. It is not a common thing to talk about these days, for fear of being shunned or laughed at but it is true to me, to who I am.
Jase loved the V8s. It was something I enjoyed from afar but got more into it when we got together. He would dabble with the F1 but it wasn't something he was religious over.
I wrote a letter to myself today.
There’s more to us than what we seem
Music is my DeLorean travelling
Here you can find a collection of varying photos I have taken across the years. Feel free to enquire about prints should any capture your imagination!
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