LOVE Myself

I wrote a letter to myself today.

Weird, sure. It was something suggested to my by one of my spiritual guides Kate Stewart. She empowers me to believe in myself and today, I followed her advice and wrote a letter to myself to convince my younger self the world is not as harsh as we are told it is.

As adults we are often told to slow down and enjoy the moments. As children, we do this instinctively. We pick up the yellow flower to give to our favourite person, we jump in the puddle. We wear the mud. It is beautiful when we have the knowledge that our fun won't get in the way of our health and wellbeing because we have support. We forget, we have support around us but we all become so overwhelmed, we can lose sight of the fun. The fun is the stuff I remember most. All moments for me have been defined not by the situation but what I gained from it; experience, love, hurt, pain. It all matters and it is all wonderful!

Writing Jase's story has forced me to deal with some truths and analyse myself to a greater depth than twenty years of therapy has even touched the surface of. Even my most trusted people don't know the entire story. The rawness of my being, the vulnerability we often hide, is what makes this human experience worth the effort. I would not change a thing! The only regret is that I believed people when they told me I wasn't enough. Turns out, they weren't enough for me. I protected myself, I knew healthy relationships for me. I know when you read the book under todays concepts of  red flags/green flags there are some questionable decisions I made. However, I needed these to see how far I could be pushed to grow and Jase needed to grow as well. We managed to find that growth in each other.

The first line of my story is I am a villian. I have had to humbly recognise my roles in negative events in my life. I am learning to forgive my humanness. Jase had human behaviours too. This is the essence of all our being. We are here to experience it ALL! If we don't experience it, we sometimes get the privilige to view it through someone else and hear their story.